Pretend Physicist

Let’s pretend. Why not. It’s harmless. I assure you. It’s all quite harmless. Everything will be okay. All will be well, regardless.

Let’s take a particle. Any particle. Oh, let’s say it’s an electron. Well, you say. Well-well. What is an electron and where is one. And I’d have to say, Ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Well, I’d have to say. It is a kind of cloud. A kind of cloud, you say. A kind of cloud. I thought it was a particle. I thought that was what you just said.

Ha-ha, I say. Ha-ha-ha-ha. You have a good point there. You certainly have me there. Well, but let’s just pretend it’s a particle. Okay, you say. Okay.

Let’s just pretend it’s a particle, knowing all the while it’s really a cloud. What kind of cloud, you want to know. Oh, you know, I say. You know very well what kind of cloud, ha-ha. A cloudy cloud.

A cloudy cloud, you say. Yes, I say. Nodding my head. A cloudy cloud. Nodding my head profoundly.

Is it a big cloud, you want to know. Oh, I say. Oh-oh. Well. It can be a big cloud. Yes. Oh, you say. How big is big. Oh, I say. Oh-oh. Well. Sort of big. Well. It can be medium big. But all of this is very small, I say. We’re talking about big in the world of the very small.

Oh, you say. That certainly clears things up.

Yes, I say. Yes indeed. But I’d like to get to the point now, if that’s okay. Yes. Yes, please do, you say, with a tone of. Oh. I don’t know. A tone of irritation in your voice.

What you want to do is take this electron and associate it. What, you say. Associate it, I say, with. You wait, expectantly. With another electron, let us say, I say.

With another electron, you say, stroking your chin. Associate one cloud with another cloud. Yes, I say. A little excitedly. Yes, exactly.

Oh, you say. What do you mean associate it, you want to know.

Weel, I say. Weel. Let’s say what happens is you just pair them up for awhile. Just get them in the same general vicinity. Ah, you say. Ah-ha. You sort of put them in the same cage together, like. Is that what you mean. Yes. Yes. Something like that, I say.

How long, you want to know. How long, I ask, rhetorically. Yes, how long do you do this associating. Oh, long enough, I say. Long enough, you want to know. Yes. Yes, definitely, I say. For just long enough.

Then what, you say. Then what.

Then, I say. You separate them. Separate them completely, you want to know. Yes. Completely, I say. Move the one, say, onto the other side of the moon.

It’s dark over there, you say. Yes, it’s dark, I say, but as I say, all will be well.
You keep saying that, you say. Yes, I say. I keep saying that.

So then what, you say. Then. Oh. Let’s say you spin the one that’s still in the cage. Ah, you say. Spin. Spin a cloud, you want to know.

Ha, I say. Ha-ha. Well. Yes. Spin that foggy cloud. Spin that cloudy fog. Heh-heh. And then what, you say. Then what happens.

Well. Then what you have. What you get you see. In the other particle. The other cloud, you mean, you say. Yes. The other cloud. What you get with this other cloud is exactly the same spin.

What, you say. You get the same spin in the other cloud, I say. Instantly. No time difference. No lag. No delay. Instantaneous identical spin.

Oh, you say. How do you know? You measure it, I say. But how can you, you want to know. If the other cloud’s on the other side of the moon and no one’s there.

Oh. Heh-heh, I say. Ha-ha, I say. No really. What I mean to say, if someone were on the other side of the moon, this is what he would find.

But what would someone be doing on the other side of the moon, you want to know.

Never mind that. Never mind the other side of the moon! I say. What I’m saying is that there is this relation. This what, you want to know. This relation that’s been established and apparently never goes away.

Never goes away, you want to know. Never. Never, you say. Never’s a long time. Never’s a long time to save your spin, I say. But that’s what happens.

Ah, you say. And oh. I say. Oh. What I want to get across is the instantaneousness of this. Oh, you say. Yes, I say. What I want to say is this relation that we’ve so astonishingly established. This similitude. It isn’t limited by the speed of light. It happens identically. State changes happen outside this fundamental law. This fundamental speed.

So what are you saying, you say. Are you saying God’s speed is kind of like warp speed? No. No-no-no-no, I say. No. Definitely not.

Then what are you saying, you say. I’m saying, I say, that God’s speed is infinite.

Infinite, you say. Hmmmm. Infinite speed. Hey, I like that. God is infinitely fast. Hey. There may be something here after all.

Well. Thank you, I say.

Yes indeed. There may be something here after all.